Critical Case Reflection 3

 

 

All names have been changed to preserve the confidentiality of clients.

 



Description:

The day began with a moan and groan as Sam awoke. He was already upset that it was time to get up. Putting on shoes was the next task at hand full of tears, kicking and various forms of "I can't do it!" The day continued on with many more of his tears and complaints and tantrums. This 13 year old was beginning to test my patience as this was the 4th day of his habitual reactions to any form of work or towards doing anything he did not want to.
By dinnertime, I was feeling worn down as well as a great concern for this student, not only for his emotional well-being but also for his physical because he refused to eat anything that was not a cliff bar or oatmeal. Unfortunately, for his sake, he had just finished his last one.
I told him if he were able to finish his meal, I would give him one of mine. After only five bites, he said he was ready to bury it. I asked him to eat five more bites. He did then began another fit claiming I said he could have the bar once he finished the five bites. By this time, I was becoming frustrated, took his pot, divided his food in half and said if he could finish half he could have the cliff bar. He did and I gave him the bar.


Assessment:
In my professional opinion, Sam was manipulating me to get what he wanted, the cliff bar (examples given below in "Varying perspective"). He cried and complained until I gave in. And in my professional opinion, I was weak and inconsistent in my word. I allowed my judgment to be influenced by another (and by my lack of patience). I was demonstrating a co-dependent behavior.



Personal Position:
In the moment, I justified my actions telling myself that it would be more productive in the day if he received nourishment since, he said he was ready to bury the food (leave no trace policy) even before finishing half of it. From observing this student, I knew it became harder for him to control his emotions when he had not eaten enough. Really, I was thinking I was "picking my battle," to assist him in getting more food into him in the moment so that later that evening we would be able to accomplish some other important tasks. However, in reality, I taught him poorly because of my changing positions. One of the most important lessons I could have taught him was to stick to his end of the deal (integrity) and not that if you complain and cry enough you can get what you want.
Since I cannot change what I did, the next time a situation like this arises, I will stick to my word so that he might learn the natural consequences of his actions, as well as that I mean what I say.


Varying Perspective:
Sam's actions are a way of coping and getting what he wants. From his perspective, he was doing what he had always done because it has brought the results he has sought in the past. The day before as he was in the midst of a 2 hour long tantrum, my co-guide said to him, "Tantrums will not work out here." To which he responded, "Why they do at home?" And I fed into that belief that if he can throw a fit long enough and strong enough, he can get what he wants.


Future Action:
Since I cannot change what I did, the next time a situation like this arises, I will definitely respond differently. I will stick to my word so that he might learn the natural consequences of his actions, as well as that I mean what I say. In order to be most successful in this action, I will begin practicing today to follow through with that which I say, such as, "Yes, honey, I will unload the dishwasher so you can load them," and not just hope that he will do them all despite what I had said. This will take discipline and consistency, but I know that as I develop this talent, I will be more confident in myself and be more helpful to others.


 

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